Portly
SMOTHERED BY A HUMAN BEANBAGA few years ago I had a job interview and the first leg of my flight--Denver to Vegas--was full of rowdy passengers who hadn’t known each other previously but all got acquainted in one of the airport bars before boarding. As they piled onto the plane, laughing and joking, I reread my notes for the talk I was to give as part of the interview process, crammed into the window seat that I couldn’t swap for an aisle seat. Soon an obese woman took the middle seat next to me and her normal-size boyfriend took the aisle. They have both had a few drinks with the party bunch. OK, fine. I go back to my reading. The plane is boarded, we pull away from our gate and the fat lady starts to pick a fight with her boyfriend.
As we take our place in the queue on the tarmac he tries to placate her. By the time we reach the runway he’s given up and is ignoring her. As the wheels leave the ground she starts *poking* him, really trying to start something. Finally the boyfriend looks her in the eye and snaps, “Have you *had* enough to drink? Maybe I should buy you ANOTHER beer, huh?” in a tone that suggests this is not new behavior for her.
And instantly, her demeanor changes. She turns away from him, starts blubbering and clawing at MY shoulder! “I just *sob* wanted to have fun! I wanted this to be a nice trip, I’m sorry, *sob, blubber* I just want to have fun,” on and on, pawing at me while her bulk flows over the armrest into my seat like a collapsing pudding as I’m pushing her away and yelling, “Get AWAY from me!” as she’s drunkenly apologizing and manhandling me. It was like being smothered by a beanbag the size of a Toyota.
Some minutes later, when the plane has finally leveled out, an FA comes back to see what the commotion was. Fat lady is now passed out and snoring on her boyfriend’s shoulder. He explains the problem, apologizes, and then offers to buy me a drink. No thanks, dude. Just keep big momma off of me and we’ll call it even.12/08 |<<Latest Stories
SQUASHED IN A WINDOW
I was taking a one way flight from LAX to TPA, and I was flying coach. I thought to myself this shouldn't be too bad. I boarded and found my seat somewhat near the end of the plane. I was sitting in a window seat, and there was a man in an isle seat; there was no one in middle.
I was thinking this wasn't so bad after all since the middle seat was the only one left, along with two seats in the back. A minute before the door was closed, one more person came on; I was horrified. This woman was clearly almost morbidly obese. She was barely squeezing through the isle.
I knew she was going to take the middle seat; I threw down the armrest as fast as possible. When she sat down, the armrest moved my way a couple inches or so, but I could still move. Then we took off, and at cruising altitude the worst happened - she took my armrest and lifted it up. I was immediately squashed into the window. I was mad; I didn't pay to be smothered for five hours. It took an effort to put the armrest down, then she looked at me and put it back up. It went on for about five minutes, then I was starting to get really mad. I told her (clearly many people heard me) that I paid for this seat for me to sit in...ONLY...not for you to sit in also. She gave me a look of surprise, as if she couldn't believe I said that. I told her that this wasn't my fault you are where you are now, then she moved to BOTH of the seats in the back. When the plane landed she squeezed herself to the front, giving me a death look as she passed by. In the end of it all, you should defend your seat so you don't have this kind of flight from hell. 8/08
NO MORE SYMPATHY
Ok, no more sympathy for fat people. I was on a Southwest Airlines flight from Providence to Phoenix at the end of May, and a fat woman boarded and could not find a seat, so she chose to sit in the middle seat next to me on the bulkhead (no pun intended). I chose my bulkhead seat on the aisle because I am disabled, walk with a cane, and have to get to the plane via wheelchair. This woman SAT on me through the whole flight. She was HURTING me. It was incredibly hard to get up and get to the bathroom. I should have pitched a fit and got her put off the plane, but stupid me, I was trying to be a good sport about it. Never again! I do not even want to hear anything about tiny airline seats. I am disabled and can not do exercise, and if I can keep my butt small enough to fit in my own seat, the rest of you can too. And I especially do not want to hear anything about obesity as a disability. Do NOT even go there. I am not a tiny flower either, but I fit in MY seat. My warning to the rest of you is this; check out the other people who are coming on the plane and grab the thinner people and ask them to be your row mates. 7/08
SQUEEZED IN THE MIDDLE
I was on an eight hour plane ride with a group from school. Our teachers had told us that one or two people wouldn't be seated with the rest of the group, and of course me and my friend got to be those lucky two. Our seats were the middle two in a row of four. There were two huuuggge people on either side of us, on the aisle seats. We weren't even able to put down the armrests because they wouldn't have been able to fit. They weren't together or anything, just two unrelated people.
The man next to me fell asleep four hours into the ride and he decided to lay down and put his butt on my seat. I had to share a seat with my friend for four hours, who didn't have much room herself because of the woman next to her. Oh, and the woman she was sitting next to would just randomly start grunting every few minutes. It was awful. 5/08
BIG GUY FANCIES FURRY HAT
Last month I was flying to Israel with my family on Continental Airlines. Since we are a family of 5, my son and I sat in the middle while my wife and 2 daughters sat across the aisle.
A man sat down next to my son who must have weighed at least 350 lbs. The man attempted to raise the common arm rest next to my son in order to get more room. In addition, he was ultra-religious wearing heavy clothing and had body odor. He also sat with a large fur hat in his lap the entire flight.
My son was forced to lean into me for the entire 11 hour flight. We tried to get the flight attendants to do something about the situation but they ignored me, my wife and my son. 12/07
TRAVEL TIP
I had a five hour flight ahead of me and settled into my aisle seat near the back. A fellow who could charitably be described as portly squeezed into the middle seat. If he weighed 20 pounds he weighed 300. His mass of flesh spilled over the armrest forcing me to lean lean left like a sapling in a hurricane. He was dressed for volleyball - green gym shorts and a white T shirt. Based on his B. O. I could only assume he had just finished playing. I tried my best to hold my breath, but hey, 5 hours is a long time. About an hour into the trip, Mr. 5 by 5 told me he was headed to Arizona for business. He had an afternoon meeting. After landing he would rush to his hotel, grab a shower and meet with his team. He wasn't shy about sharing a travel tip: "Never shower before a plane trip. It's a waste. Wait till you arrive. You save water. It's good for the environment." Well at least his heart was in the right place, if nothing else. 11/07
"AMPLE" LADY
Flying from Kansas City to LAX, full flight, my wife and I took our seats...well, not exactly. We had the aisle and center, an "ample" lady was in the window seat. Because of her size, she could not get the arm rest down; she was spilling into my wife's seat. I volunteered to sit there for a while and split time with my wife, but she wouldn't change. These people should be forced to buy two seats, or there need to be bigger seats elsewhere for them. It was horribly uncomfortable. Here's the clincher: her husband bought a seat a couple of rows back!! He wasn't going to be annoyed by her slopping over on him. 10/07 Signed, Bob from Kansas City, MO
SQUEEZED BY A PORTLY PASSENGER
I want to preface this story by saying that I am not disparaging of fat people in general. I'm a woman. I know it's hard to lose weight. That said, if you need two seats for your big ass, buy two seats for your big ass. That said... I was on a flight from San Francisco to NYC. I like the window seat because I like to be able to lean over to sleep. I'm not the up and down kind of person. The flight is very full, and it was the last one of the night. I finally get settled in my seat, when down the isle come a woman who is, well HUGE. In fact, she is so big and so freaking wide that she is kind of scooting sideways and has to PUSH her way between each set of seats on the isle. I'm guessing she weighed maybe 350-400 pounds. I can see her coming slowly down the isle, pushing her mounds of flesh through the isle and I cringed in fear. The whole time I chanted in my head: "Please God, no! Please God, no! Please God, no! Please. God. No! Please God, No!!" She stopped at my isle. Yes, of course she did or else I wouldn't be writing this story. Not ONLY did she sit in my isle, she sat in the MIDDLE SEAT. She shoved her lard ass into the middle seat while her skinny boyfriend sat on the isle. That just didn't make any sense to me. I asked her if she wouldn't mind taking the isle seat and she said, "No, my boyfriend likes the isle." Well, thanks a lot, skinny-ass boyfriend. In order to sit in my seat, I had to cross my legs and practically sit sideways with one arm folded over me. Her arm, ass and leg flesh invaded my seat space by at least 3-4 inches. There was no way I could sit in my seat with out having to be in constant contact with her flesh at all times. GROSS. We all know how small seat planes are, even the skinniest person doesn't have 3-4 inches to give up! I decided to get up and go talk to the stewardess, but they said they were sorry, there was nothing they could do. They couldn't move me to another seat because they didn't have any and they couldn't make her move to the isle seat. Oh yeah, and I had to CLIMB OVER her each time I got up or down because she refused to move. I actually stood up on my seat and stepped over her. Crazy. I endured take-off and landing sitting next to her, but spent the entire flight standing in the rear of the plane, trying to keep out of the way. The stewardesses were sympathetic to my plight and brought me back some first class food to eat. Lady, you KNOW who you are and you need TWO SEATS! 10/07
Story Categories
Latest Stories | Portly | Animals | Medical & Illness
Reclining Seats | Attendant Issues | Odds & Ends
Seniors | Food & Drink | Odors | Weird People
Babies & Kids | Couples | Passenger Issues
Plane & Weather | Luggage & Delays Back to Top | 
